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Good Intentions.

Couldn’t stress it enough.

You could ask all the closest ones who surround me just how much I abide to this simple concept.

To me, the universe is a game; a physical representation of the energies within me. Every person I meet seems to be a reflection of myself and every moment is a lesson to be analyzed VERY deeply. I view my obstacles as a way of proving myself to “the universe,” and when I overcome the worst, it’s like a way of beating a level or just kicking life in the ass.  It’s all a big joke honestly. Almost like a humorous sitcom or one of those guilty pleasure reality shows like Bad Girls Club or Love & Hip Hop.

All scenarios that occur in my daily life feel as though they are being witnessed by an entity elsewhere. I swear someone’s watching me and if I had to guess I’d say someone is probably watching you too. Your journey is for no one else to understand. (Except for that spiritual fictional character that almost hovers seamlessly over you, controlling every aspect of your life) But don’t be alarmed!!! It’s okay. I think everyone’s little friend up there (or “in there,” who knows?) just wants the best for you. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure I’m getting a little wonky by this point but I never said I wasn’t crazy.

Your lil’ buddy, the universe, will never dare give you something you can’t handle.

Where was I getting with this? AH, that’s right, good intentions. You’ll litter when there’s a trash can across the block and know it’s wrong and that’s why when you get home that night, there will be a roach in your bathroom trashcan.

You’ll steal a lighter (fuck you for that) and not only will you most likely lose that lighter, but you’ll use yours and realize you ran out of fluid.

You’ll sell a dime bag of oregeno to middle schooler and get robbed for a pound.

You won’t tip that waitress because she didn’t smile enough so next time you use that Groupon it’ll be expired.

It’s how it works man, I swear. (At least for me) It’s a big joke, I’m not kidding.

I changed rooms midterms and tried getting into my newly assigned dormitory building that my current key couldn’t open, so I asked the first chick walking out to open it for me. She said she wasn’t allowed to do that for me and seemed pretty agitated by my attempt but managed to open the door anyway. Of course, I’m just judging the fuck out of this girl like, “who does she think she is? Not letting me in the building and shit, are you an RA? Im not gunna bomb your building, I swear I’m a student I’m wearing a vintage bomber sweatshirt with curly bangs. I got on those mom jeans that my mom hates. Do you REALLY think I don’t belong here?”

So after checking out this building (watching cable television in the lobby for 2 hours)  I finally built the stamina to go to my new room and meet my new fellow roommates. A kind eyed girl opens the door already suspecting my arrival (which startled me since my old roommates wouldn’t dare show that much emotion) and introduces herself with so much excitement. I’m shocked and baffled, how do I handle such cuteness. I’m flattered by this point and ready to rumble, this chick had a Keurig that she was willing to share, I knew it was lit from the get.

“Rachel! Your new roommate is here!” she shouts to the back room. Footsteps approach and man I’m on the edge of my toes and her shadow is getting closer. Oh boy, I hear her breathes from several feet away, the air that’ll soon be in my private bubble for the next 6 months. I was so pumped to meet this chick, you have no idea.

And there she is!!!!!!!

It’s the girl who didn’t wanna open the damn door for me.

Out of the around 320 people that live in this building I managed to snag a room with this chick and at this very moment the universe is laughing at me with a bowl of popcorn.

But no worries, I got to know her and this girl is fresh as hell, no joke. She has the largest pair of turtle slippers and a vintage Wacom. This chick was sick as fuck all her Manga was premium. She gave me her last command strip so I can hang my Ralph Lauren robe. She plays Nintendo DS like it’s her bitch and she’s that one chick every roommate appreciates because she brought her Wii to the dorm. She makes room for you in the fridge and would never touch your Shampoo even if her hair smelt like quarters. She was just watching out the the homies. She was securing the premises. She’s the coyote of the location, the prey who survives the Winter. Without her, our shit would have a terrorist in it. See, for instance, the universe forbids, if someone tried to bomb our joint, her little personal spiritual being would make sure her protective ass was in the lobby doing laundry or some shit so she can tell that homie with no key to scram. I fucks with it.  I judged this bitch because she had the balls to do something no ignorant college kid would ever feel the need to do but she was deadass following the rules and I judged her for being a hard ass. Smh Kim, never again.

But I learned that day. I learn everyday. With instances far more severe than that I still giggle sometimes at my misfortunes because I always see the light in the hole. Just search for it. Live happily and realize everything is temporary. I’m not a writer, I’m an expressionist. I innovate in all forms just because I’m obsessed with making my thoughts become visible and accessible. But that’s not the point. The point is I’m here to share with you my current mindset. My 2:24 am vibes, and everyday thoughts.

I just wanted to find a way where I could give my most positive thoughts to the people who need it most. And even though some aren’t as successful as the last, the point is I tried with the best intentions I possibly could.

Just do good. Stick with the basics like when moms told you to “do to other what you want done to yourself.” Stay passionate and thirsty for the best and never settle. I swear, even if my impractical and almost lunatic-worthy and overly sensitive theories seem like the most irrational concepts you’ve ever laid eyes on, just know I told you that if you live every moment with no intent to hurt others, disrupt your peers, damage yourself, or just down right take this weird ass experience of life as a negative downward spiral, you’ll be straight. It’s all just balance, you get what you give. Happiness is trying to find you.